Vale the vile Hoyo! As is tradition for the Harem, I provide you now with an essential piece of consumer advice: a mostly complete ranking, from best to worst, of the special edition cigars from the hole of Monterrey.

Of course, when it comes to Hoyo there is one piece of consumer advice I should offer you before all others: “do not buy.” To your host they have near unanimously proved to be insipid cigars: cedar, light tobacco, and nothing much else. When considering a purchase of any Hoyo, my recommendation is that you take a few steps to the left and buy a Monte 4 instead. If they’re all out of those then I guess you need to hope that they still have the 2004 HdM Humidor.

1. Hoyo de Monterrey Monterrey Hoyo de Monterrey Humidor 2004
2. Hoyo de Monterrey Grand Epicure Edición Limitada 2013
3. Hoyo de Monterrey Le Hoyo de San Juan
4. Hoyo de Monterrey Le Hoyo des Dieux
5. Hoyo de Monterrey Extravaganza Colección Habanos 2003
6. Hoyo de Monterrey Epicure de Luxe La Casa del Habano Exclusivo 2012
7. Hoyo de Monterrey Petite Robustos
8. Hoyo de Monterrey Piramide Edición Limitada 2003
9. Hoyo de Monterrey Double Epicure Duty Free Exclusivo 2010
10. Hoyo de Monterrey Regalos Edición Limitada 2007
11. Hoyo de Monterrey Elegantes La Casa del Habano Exclusivo 2016
12. Hoyo de Monterrey Epicure No. 2
13. Hoyo de Monterrey Epicure No. 1
14. Hoyo de Monterrey Epicure Especial
15. Hoyo de Monterrey Particulares Edición Limitada 2000

Notably absent: the 510 Humidor cigar, the 2004 Epicure Especial LE, the 2011 Short Pirámides LE, the Replica Ancient humidor Maravillas No. 1, the Maravillas from the 2015 Habanos Collection, the Aged Habanos Hermosos No. 4, and the Epicure No. 2 Reserva. Feel free to send the cigars if you really must put me through that.